Psychiatric Times.

ADHD Wreaking Havoc on Marriage

July 21, 2010

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) may be more prevalent than we know, and it may be taking a toll on marriage. Findings suggest that many adults with the disorder never received a diagnosis as children. They’ve learned to compensate at work but at home they are distracted and forgetful, which often leads to conflict and high levels of distress; many of these marriages end in divorce.

Problems are part of any relationship, but if one of the partners has ADHD, it can make matters much worse. One partner is left to carry the bulk of the family responsibilities and resentments build up. Once the ADHD is recognized, however, the couple can get help. Medications help but treatment often requires therapy for both partners: talk therapy can help reduce accumulated resentments and behavioral therapy can provide coping strategies.

by Harold Lloyd | December 17, 2010 1:45 PM EST

I am on my third marraige now. The issue for married folks with ADHD is-Do you have a supportive spouse? and do they understand the ramifications for the disorder if left untreated? Support, understanding and patients are key elements in a successful marriage along with spiritual guidence. My wife that I am married to today is very supportive and understanding. Along with medication and self-help projects that I came up with to assist me; we go to church were we sing and worship. My ex-wives did not support pharmacological treatment and they were not understanding. It was very difficult to live under those conditions. As far as the worry of stimulant medications; I have been on and off Adderall for about 10 years now, and I will say that the times that I was not on the medication, I self medicated by way of methamphetamine and alcohol. The first time I was able to get medication I did not use anything and life was good. This last time I got on medication was 780 days ago and I have not had a drink or another drug. If my parents would have known 40 something years ago about this disorder, I would have probably already been a doctor today instead of starting my journey at 44. Medication alone may help some people however; I believe some sort of therapy along with medication should be implemented. ADHD left untreated can have devaststing ramifications. You can't beat it out of us; that just causes other issues.

Harold

ADHD Wreaking Havoc on Marriage

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