—after reading about a health insurance company CEO’s $19,000,000 paycheck
Oh dearest Charlie, my Captain of Industry,
Paragon of Capitalism, I love you
for teaching me how our blue planet spins!
Like a cloistered virgin, my long education
and years of training shielded me from the world
of wealth you live in. But through your delicious
audacity, I finally feel the enchanting marriage
of medicine, money, power, and lust!
How much currency I’ve contributed
to your treasure is something I cannot know,
for you never send me a thank-you note.
Yes, distance and difficulties inflame the ardor
of Romantic Love, and you Dearest Charles
have succeeded in inflaming me!
To think you have converted suffering
and ten thousand doctors’ sweat
into your own nineteen million
makes me swoon! But as much as I love you
Charles, my best friend is my dog
who is named—Sweet Irony!—Charlie, too,
Like you, he is hairy, white, powerful
and smart, and he never listens
to a word I say! Once, I left him alone
for the briefest second, and in that moment
he ate an entire birthday cake! My birthday cake,
which I so foolishly left on the coffee table.
How he wagged his tail when I found him
with chocolate icing smeared on his snout.
And just like you Charles, he was generous
and kind enough to leave a few sweet crumbs
scattered on the tiled floor for me!